You’ve been brainwashed
Brainwashed by Hollywood to love me
It’s not my fault really
I didn’t ask for my tragic background

No one wants their father
To try and drown them
And then abandon them
Or their mother to die of cancer

It’s not fun to have to move in
With your extra strict Aunt
Who’s not even named Petunia
Before Harry Potter was published

I didn’t asked to be forced
Moved to a far far away land
Or to teased by classmates for my accent
Or thought of as a “strange looking half-breed”

Yes I did like to hide in my room
And read books I wasn’t supposed to
Using a torch under covers at night
Didn’t you do the same too?
It was the 80’s didn’t every kid back then?

How was I to know I wasn’t supposed
To break out into song
When the radio came on?
I was a teenager, give me a break!

When I returned to my native land
I tried to cultivate chosen family
But I certainly didn’t want them to die
Especially in a car accident
Or from cancer like my mother

Nor did I want a genie boyfriend
Who gave me flowers, then raped me
As he said he loved me

Or to buy into a bridge to freedom
Which was actually an evil wizard’s trap
Then luckily accomplish escape
it’s mere coincidence

That I managed to marry a charming man
With princely accent to make a palace, then
Befriend a fair maiden with storybook auburn hair
Enchanting, but not planned

Next stumble upon a man with shiny eyes 
and a fondness for knightly weapons
As well as a buxom ginger wench, and a musical Joker
This too is all happenstance

That I go around trying to make things better
Is only because it gives me pleasure to do so
And that it is necessary that some of us do
Least the entire planet collapse in upon itself

This does not make me a Wonder Woman
I’m unmistakeably mortal
I use a plane from Star Alliance 
Which is definitely not invisible

No those trips cost miles
In more ways than one

So it isn’t my fault that you love me
Nor are you to blame for your childhoods
Steeped in TV and Film tropes
That happen to evilly mirror my tale  

Oh the only thing I like about this story
Is that you love me

You do right?


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